Older (and wiser)
By Punjab-da-puttar | March 29th, 2009 | Category: Identity, Uncategorized“Are you the same Karan Bali who is Sita’s brother?” a female colleague asked me about a year and a half ago. “Yes”, I answered. “Why?” Prompt came the reply, “My mum was friends with your sister.” Till then I had given no thought to the fact that she was 27 and me 39. As far as I was concerned, we were working on a feature film project together – researching and sifting the material. Suddenly, I felt I was a whole generation older – an uncle!
A few days later, another assistant director working on the same project asked me if I was the same Karan Bali who went to Lawrence School, Lovedale and on being told this was indeed so, could barely conceal her excitement as she eagerly told me how her uncle was two years my junior at school!
I thought about it. It has already been 23 long years since I finished my 12th from Lawrence School, Lovedale, a good 20 years since I got my BSc degree from St. Xaviers College, Mumbai and 16 whole years since I graduated from the Film and Television Institute of India (FTII) with specialization in Film Direction. Today, conversation between my school mates and me is mainly only full of plans to ensure how we make our 25th year re-union in 2011 a big success.
That’s not all. Since the last year or so, I have started to look more and more within oneself. A desire to discover my Punjabi roots has seen me trace my family history, visit 1947 to try and understand where I come from. Today, I feel confident and eager to make that first feature film as I feel I have the experience and know how. I find myself reflecting on where one has been and where one is going from here. I question myself if I want the next part of my life to be the way it is now, to try and examine any regrets I might have had and what I could do about them.
Most of all, I find myself frequently going into nostalgic trips about growing up in the 1970s and 1980s – the days of ABBA and Boney M, Kramer vs Kramer and The Champ. I often delve into my collection of precious Amar Chitra Kathas and Indrajal comics even today thereby reliving my childhood years as I recall the story of Krishna or the adventures of the Phantom and Diana, Bahadur and Bela. As my previous blog entries show, I often recall moments like the first film I ever viewed or trace the event I subconsciously think led me to choose my career in films.
No doubt about it. I have become an oldie! Not that it’s a bad thing. After all, isn’t life supposed to begin at 40?!
Can’t agree more with the age factor. Not a moment goes by when we are not reminded of how old we’ve become. There’s this twenty something year old in my gym who started off introductions calling me uncle. It irks me no end. But, it’s true that life begins at 40 and finally all that matters is how old you feel. After all, age is relative!
Welcome to the oldies club! I’ve been there a while. Women start getting called ‘Auntie’ sooner anyway. Specially if they have kids.
… and I remember you were not happy when I had said Anant would call you Karan Uncle!! Is that the reason you never visited us after he was born? LOLLL
But you know, Bali, is regardless ofthe numerics, you realize that you think, act and do pretty much the same as you did all those years ago, albeit with a liitle caution - maturity. Only the body slowes doen bro, not the mind. Think young, and thou shalt be young. But will pen a poem that I have pasted at my work station (this is for the bosses) -
On aging -
I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot screw
Oh my God, what can I do?
My memory shrinks,
My hearing stinks,
No sense of smell,
I look like hell,
My mood is bad - can you tell?
My body’s drooping,
I have trouble pooping,
The Golden Years,
Have come at last,
The Golden Years,
Can kiss my ass!
Trivikram,
I remember when I was first called uncle. It was my first year at the FTII when I was one of the youngest students there and not yet 21! But yeah, I was called uncle by the little children of the matron of the ladies hostel, not by 20 something PYTs.
Banno,
If its any consolation, you are a most young-at-heart cool aunty!
Shruti,
That’s wicked!
Bongo,
Am plain speechless and gobsmacked at your ‘brilliant’ poetic talents.
Are you the same Karan Bali who . . . well . . .uh . . .I will spare you the smart ones . . .loved the piece . . .only wish it was . .. I will spare you that too . . .don’t they say you be careful what you ask for, for more often than not they do come true– I remember you trying to sound old amongst us green-behind-the-ears-wannabes some 13 years ago . . .see, they finally did come true . . . only with you it’s in the reverse order– first wiser and then older!!
Thanks Sunjoy. Always appreciate your comments!
Puttar: Very heartfelt and sincere piece - you’ve captured the transition into the ‘uncle/aunty’ phase wonderfully
Thanks boorback!
My God! Now I really feel like I am a grandmother to most of us who are writing blogs on this site! 39 and you are feeling old! I have left my ‘Life begins at 40″ soother 25 years ago and still feel as if I am just touching 40! Why and how? I once met Gul Panag and Koel Puri at a party at CM Sheila Dixit’s lovely garden house at Delhi and the minute I told them how old I was, they asked me, “but where are the wrinkles?” forgetting to, (pretending to?) ignore the gaps in my gums where once there were things called ‘teeth’ I was afraid to refill for fear of the dentist! So where do I get all this energy from? From life in general and from not having much money to speak of and still wanting to become rich one day totally on my own team. So take heart Karan, you are still 40 years away from 40 because if you do not agree, I have to kick the bucket!
Shoma,
Of course you’re as young as you feel - though we all remind ourselves of this more frequently as we get older (and wiser)! But I can say honestly that with all my interaction with you over the last couple of years, you are one of the most young-at-heart grandmothers I know. Stay that way!
Oh Dear Karan!
Thanks for the compliment which has taken a good 20 years off my age. What keeps me young is my endless energy and the confidence that I am an economically independent woman and have been so for a good 40 years now. I can even book a Nano totally on my own steam without pinching anyone’s pocket, be it my husband of 44 years or my daughter who is nearly your age. And as you already must have learnt, I do it simply by slogging and not from any lottery ticket or inheritance that has dropped on my lap just like that! I am not rich financially by any stretch of imagination. But I save wisely and spend well too. I have learnt that if you are determined to work hard, there is no one who can stop you.
Ahh.. Whenever I am asked to list my favorite books, I always hark back to the ones I loved when I was in High School, though I have read many more worthier ones later. I dont know why I do that.