Synopsis
The simple lives of Chandu & Nandu,
two street-smart extorsionists change into a rollercoaster
ride, when they steal a 201 carat Moghul Diamond
and loose it, only to be found by a friendly duo
Ajay & Vijay who must somehow arrange 100,000
rupees which they loose on a 'teen-patti' card
match, to save their lives from their boss Diljaan
Kolgate who is fondly called Boss D.K. Faltu Utpatang
Chutpati Kahani is a light-hearted time-pass film,
a crime-comedy thriller, that gives a glimpse
through the looking glass from the other side.
Faltu Utpatang Chutpati Kahani is my
salute to the Bollywood cinema that I grew up
with. It is a crime-comedy-thriller made out of
an ordinary story but narrated non-conventionally.
The film is a comedy of errors, with unbelievable
coincidences and with a lot of drama with the
melodrama. It is NOT any spoof on any Bollywood
cinema because I take pride in growing up with
Bollywood films that sold dreams to the common
audience that are larger then life.
 Initially
I had a sci-fi script with a Kafka-style narration
that I co-wrote with my friend, an American aspiring
writer, but no one even looked at it. I had the
team of my film-school friends from Toronto and
the expertise but it needed a lot of money, more
then what my credit cards could offer hence I
decided to write something that is not that expensive
and more commonly accepted by Indian audience
(especially front-benchers and youth). To me,
Front Benchers and youth are the people who make
or break a film at the box office since most middle
class wait for a DVD or a TV release. The result
is Faltu Utpatang Chutpati Kahani, an
ode to popular cinema of my teenage years. The
cinema that a common man could relate to and could
see their own reflections or the society we live
in. Films like Amar Akbar
Anthony, Deewar,
Golmaal etc.
I then tried looking for producers and known actors
with a complete script, screenplay and 1500 illustrated
drawings of every shot of the film but the producers
just flipped through the pages and said “Woh
to theek hai pur tum kisi filmstars ki dates laa
sakte ho?” So I started hunting for no-so-famous
‘filmstars’ (as the superstars are
out of my realm of contact) and they said “Woh
to theek hai pur film kaun produce kur raha hai?
Can we get good publicity?” All this
made me wonder: Does one really have to be on
Page3 to get a film made in India?
It was a catch-22 situation and nothing happened
except that I wasted a few months of my life trying
to get an answer from them. I had always felt
that money, although important, never was the
only factor to make a film and actors are as important
as the script but are ‘emotional furniture’
just as the rest of the mise-en-scene to convey
the emotions of a story through cinema. So, I
decided to not waste my life in getting answers
in my favor from the rich and famous and instead
began hunting for like-minded people for active
participation on the project. The rest is what
they say “Manzil ki or mei chaltaa rahaa,
dost milte gaye, caravaan buntaa gayaa.”
I decided to be the showman for myself...
 This
feature film is shot in approximately 4 lakh rupees
gifted by my friends and family, in India, Americas,
and the UK who have always supported my work,
in spite of their constant nagging and encouraging
me to quit filmmaking because that’s not
what most Gujarati’s do.
The film has a cast of 22 characters (give or
take, including struggling (but happy) stage actors
and ordinary people). All the lead actors’
names are on the poster. All actors memorized
the entire script like a play and my lead actors
spent sleepless nights at my place rehearsing
the scenes so that we spend minimum time to shoot
the screenplay. We finished the shooting in 15
days scheduled over the period of two months.
In terms of selecting my actors - I don't believe
in humiliating actors by calling them for auditions
and judging them with their past work and give
them a dialogue script 15 minutes before taking
their audition. I believe we never do that for
superstars so why do that for newcomers. Besides,
you can’t judge my current work with my
past since so far I have made films that are of
various genres. I am unpredictable and so can
be an actor. I met my actors over a coffee and
had a brief conversation about the project and
judge them by my instincts if they could fit in
any character. Then, after a few days, I grouped
them up and gave them a scene and 3 days to memorize
and stylize it and called them on a Sunday for
an audition. I think this film could be made because
everyone who was involved with this project wanted
to make it happen for their own reasons.
The style of the film is non-conventional since
I was not shooting in a conventional manner by
which most films are shot. We shot with mostly
available light and gelled halogen lights used
during marriages and portable tube lights used
as emergency lights on real locations and locations
that we were able to us for shooting. We also
had last minute chaos where people would demand
more money or refuse a location, but in the end
something else would work out. Just like my mother
always says: “When a door closes, another
opens up soon so don't give up.” So
the style is 'never say die' which is also the
underline theme of the story.
 The
film is shot on a Digital format because I find
it more flexible, specially shooting on a zero
budget. A lot of factors that made me go for Digital,
like the camera size, almost unlimited access
to raw stock and cameras that are not very intimidating
to non-actors. I think it fits the same thought
when Richard and Arnold two German engineers did
with their celluloid handycams, the 'out-of-studio'
ARRIFLEX cameras. It gave a new freedom to aspiring
filmmakers of that era who had little budget to
shoot but had a dream of making films. Without
such Cameras, films like Bicycle Thieves would
not have been possible. These days Digital cameras
can give a 16mm cine-like look if you can shoot
with them correctly in a specific contrast ratio
and tweak their internal coluor settings to get
a cine-scale RGB look and the frames per second
speed, something I learnt over the years in Canada.Obviously
nothing beats the celluloid imaging and I PREFER
THE FILM LOOK FOR MY IMAGES ANYDAY, but then I
would rather make cinema then wait for funds to
shoot on celluloid. It’s like either painting
with Oil paint or Poster Colors… I was not
making an epic so I choose what I could afford
rather then feel obsessed with celluloid imaging
and a film camera which is nothing but a glorified
sewing machine.
I don't necessarily stick to the linearity of
my script. I always shuffle the scenes around.
I grew up listening to stories from my granny
and my mother and a lot of them were repeats but
I still enjoyed them. I think it depends on how
you tell the story and not the order in which
the chain of events occurs. If the audience feels
involved, then they will get it all eventually.
After all its entertainment so why be so serious
in its making?!
Kalpesh CI Patel is an Canadian-Indian
filmmaker, a post graduate in Film and Television
studies from Sheridan College, Ontario, Canada.
An affiliate member of Canadian Society of Cinematographers,
his diploma film is the shortest Imax thriller
in world, titled, One Night in My Dreams...
screened at the GSTA, 2002. His experimental
featurette Echo was screened at the Calgary International
Film festival 2004. Faltu Utpatang Chutpati
Kahani is his first feature film in Hindi.
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