Tashan is another of those collages of big action set-pieces ala Dhoom 2 or Cash bound together by a thin, unconvincing plot. And with the film coming from the Yashraj Banner, you naturally have an A-grade cast and technical crew, money lavishly spent on high production values, creation of a huge hype around the film and a savvy marketing campaign targeted at youngsters. But what you still don’t have is a convincing story and screenplay to hold all its elements together.

Tashan is jerky, uneven, incoherent, not-so-exciting and way too long. Even watching Kareena Kapoor sashay around in an itsy-bitsy bikini or blonde wig and short red dress cannot compensate for the film’s overall lack of entertainment value. There really isn’t much you can say about the story and screenplay since it is clearly following the logic-be-damned-and-watch-the-film-for-its-items-instead ‘phormula’. But sadly, the film is dull, unfunny and lifeless and even the so called big action sequences are highly unimaginative and even tacky, like the end fight between Akshay and Chinese fighters. The narrative flow for what its worth is a total mishmash as the film is clearly unsure of what it wants to be. From the modern graphic novel inspired titles to shades of urban noir to ‘realistic’ small town romance to big budget not so realistic action…well, you get the picture. Making things worse, there is no chemistry at all between the actors be it Saif-Kareena, Saif-Akshay, Akshay-Kareena, Kareena-Anil, Saif-Anil or Akshay-Anil. The result is an unholy mess barring the odd witty dialogue, the occasional scene or two and Akshay Kumar’s rising-above-the-script act.

Of the cast, Saif is adequate enough in a role he can do in his sleep now. Here is a talented actor getting sadly typecast as a goofy guy who makes an ass of himself over women. A badly sketched role doesn’t help him either as his role falls apart in the second half of the film. Kareena has loads of attitude and confidence but obviously ‘acts’ in her performance scenes and still has some way to go as an actress. The enormous weight loss and the use of the wide angle lens particularly in the songs making her bend towards the camera (and viewer), makes her body look totally disproportionate, often making her head look too big for her body. The effort of the weight loss also shows on her face, as it looks sunken and strained in places. Anil Kapoor manages to do a cringe inducing role without making you cringe by and large which is an achievement. However, his Hinglish act gets most tiresome after a while and his Hinglish take off on the temple scene from Deewaar does make you squirm and feel sorry for the actor as he still gamely gives it all he’s got. Oh yes, in case you miss the point, there is an easel with a sketch of Bachchan from Deewaar along with the film’s poster ‘placed’ in the background. It is undoubtedly Akshay Kumar as the Kanpuriya lad Bachchan Pandey come to Mumbai, who steals the film from the rest of the cast effortlessly. With each success, the actor is getting more and more confident to tackle any sort of role. He is just wonderful as the small town goonda who is full of awe of Bhaiyyaji and would kill for him but is totally tongue-tied and endearingly bashful in front of Kareena as he tries to tell her he loves her. He lifts the film several notches with his sense of comic timing and makes it somewhat bearable to sit through. Just about.

Technically too, the film suffers. The cinematography is adequate but suffers from poor and unimaginative use of the wide angle lens and the usual misuse of Digital Intermediate (DI) giving the film a most synthetic look, in particular the skin tones of the characters going haywire. The music is a big letdown for the Yashraj banner both in terms of the songs as well their lack-lustre picturization. Our filmmakers have to realize that just having an eye-catching locale and firang dancers in the background does not a good song picturization make. Vaibhavi Merchant needs to get her act together as there is nothing novel in her choreography. The background score is as usual loud, obvious and overloaded with the sound track being much too cluttered. Also, the film needed to be edited far more tightly. The less said about the so-called look of the actors the better as the film is grossly over-styled.

All in all, Tashan is just about watchable in its best moments and that too thanks to Akshay Kumar.